Thursday, May 8, 2008

Nostalgia vs Grief

You've got to wonder if there ever was a time when life was simply great. Has there ever been a time and place that deserves to be thought about in comfortable nostalgia? Was there ever a slow paced time where people were not sleep deprived and always being accused of doing or not doing their life right? Likely, no. It all depends on that half-full, half-empty thing. As each of us asks questions about our own lives it turns out that some of the time life is half-full, half-empty, and at others even over-filled.
Recently I spoke with a woman who is revolted by people who speak of incidents where prayer saved one of their loved one's lives. Her disgust comes from the feeling that her own prayers did not save her beloved. On hearing all of those platitudes she cannot get around her questions: Were my prayers not good enough? Were my prayers undeserving?
Perhaps we all need to be thoughtful before offering hope-filled condolences to a person who remains in the painfully unresolved grief of loss. That person is not in a safe emotional place and is unable to hear anything that smacks of sanctimonious clap trap, no matter how well meaning.
I am thinking there well may be only two prayers that can be justified, those of gratitude (thankfulness/praise) and guidance.

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